Monty Python and Matrix of Leadership
by Flareblade16
Summary: One-shot. Just a silly crossover fic between Monty Python and Transformers. Enjoy! Parodies the Black Kight skit.


A/N: This is a prize-fic for a contest I had going on my DeviantArt account a while ago. Enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or Monty Python.

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It was about midday when Optimus Prime approached a grey mech guarding a small bridge. He had just watched him soundly beat another, smaller red, white, and blue mech, who was currently lying still on the ground. Optimus chose to approach; his faithful companion Prowl following behind.

"You fight with the strength of many mechs sir knight!" he declaired. The mech remained silent.

"I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots."

Silence.

"I seek the bravest and the finest knights in the land to join me in my court at Autobot City."

Silence.

"You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?" Optimus asked.

Silence. It didn't seem like the other mech was going to take Optimus up on his offer.

"You make me sad. So be it! Come Prowl," he said.

The duo made to walk around the grey mech, when he finally spoke up.

"None shall pass," he commanded, red optics narrowing at the Autobot Commander.

"What?"

"None shall pass!"

"I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge," Optimus replied.

"Then you shall die," the grey mech growled.

"I _command_ you, as Leader of the Autobots, to stand aside!" Optimus snapped, his patience wearing thin.

"I move for no mech," the other replied.

Optimus glowered furiously at him.

"So be it," he said, activating his energy axe.

His opponent activated his own weapon, an energy mace. Blue optics locked with red briefly before the grey mech charged Optimus with a roar. They furiously exchanged blows, the grey one lashing out wildly, while Optimus leisurely blocked him. Finally, Optimus spotted an opening, and chopped the mech's left arm off!

"Now stand aside, worthy adversary," Optimus commanded.

"Tis but a scratch," the other mech replied.

Optimus was stunned. "A scratch?! Your arm's off!"

"No it isn't."

"Well what's that then?" he snapped, gesturing at the severed arm with his axe.

"I've had worse," the grey one replied nonchalantly.

"You liar!" Optimus snarled. This was starting to get annoying.

"Come on you pansy!" his opponent challenged, a crazed grin spreading across his face. He once again charged Optimus, but the red and blue mech sidestepped, and chopped off the grey mech's other arm off as he ran by.

"Victory is mine!" Optimus declared before he kneeled and began to pray. "We thank thee Primus, that in thy…" he was interrupted by the grey mech kicking him in the head.

"Come on then!"

"What?" Optimus could not believe the stubbornness of this mech!

"Have at you!" the grey one declared, kicking again at the Autobot Leader.

"You are indeed brave, good Sir Knight, but the fight is mine," Optimus said, trying to get his opponent to stop.

"Oohh, had enough, eh?" he taunted.

"Look, you stupid glitch-head, you've got no arms left!" Optimus snarled.

"Yes I have."

"_Look!" _Optimus yelled, pointing at the mech's now armless torso.

"It's just a flesh wound," he replied, shrugging his shoulder stubs.

He then continued to dance around Optimus, taunting and kicking at him all the while.

"Stop that!" Optimus ordered.

"Chicken! Chicken!" the grey mech mocked.

"Look, I'll have your leg."

Another kick.

"_Right!" _Optimus barked, and proceeded to lop the other mech's right leg off, leaving him hopping.

"Right! I'll do you for that!" the grey mech exclaimed.

"You'll _what?_" Optimus replied incredulously.

"Come here!"

"What are you going to do, _bleed_ on me?!" Optimus snapped.

"I'm invincible!" the grey mech cried out.

"You're a looney."

"Lord Megatron _always_ triumphs! Have at you! Come on then," he exclaimed, hopping furiously.

Optimus shook his head at the other mech. As Megatron hopped valiantly towards him, he chopped the other leg off, leaving the limbless torso upright on the ground looking up at him.

"Alright, we'll call it a draw," Megatron said.

Optimus just ignored him.

"Come, Prowl!" Optimus called out as he began walking away. The Datsun followed after, clapping his coconut shells like the sound of a horse's hooves.

"Oh, oh I see. Running away, eh?! You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you! _I'll bite your legs off!!"_ Megatron screeched after them as they walked off into the woods.

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A/N: Well, I hope you guys liked this!

Reviewwww…. You know you want to.


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